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Talk:Twin of Loneliness
Wow Again, you prove your ability to create spontaneous works of awesome. This is very interesting. Also, A FEMALE DHRAGOLON CHARACTER Finally! Oh, and i c what u did ther with all the Japanese references. SupcommMonroee 08:07, July 25, 2011 (UTC) Thanks! Krayfish 14:14, July 25, 2011 (UTC) I'm afraid I don't get the Japanese references... regardless, it proves to be an interesting tale from the start. Now, obviuosly, it was Skisgo who would be born of the smaller egg, which was sent away. Hm... I find it amusing how they gave away the small one for fear of a weakling in the family... and now, the small one is an ultra-elite ninja in a squad full of the galaxy's best soldiers/badasses. I APPLAUD YOUR STORYTELLING! +10 --Nra 'Vadumee 14:22, July 25, 2011 (UTC) Thanks Nra!Krayfish 14:47, July 25, 2011 (UTC) It's turning out great, but why did Takao's worker friend chose that moment to reveal that great secret to Ahrganot? Other than that little question, fascinating story! I hope it compels Nra and Panth to write stories about Etah and Pyro. SupcommMonroee 02:05, August 27, 2011 (UTC) I still had the idea that Ahrganot's parents were too afraid to reveal the truth in person. This is still rather early in the story so the epic part hasn't come yet.Krayfish 02:12, August 27, 2011 (UTC) Psychadelic SupcommMonroee 22:35, August 28, 2011 (UTC) This is a really good story. I almost expected Ahrganot's teacher to call them padawans. It's like the Jedi Temple mixed with Hogwarts, it's awesome. SupcommMonroee 01:42, August 31, 2011 (UTC) Thanks again. By the way, any suggestions on what I can improve?Krayfish 01:49, August 31, 2011 (UTC) Just a couple. 1. Is this academy one giant room? There was no real transition from yellow-eyes making the most ill-advised threat ever, and class starting. 2. Was Ahrganot given a room, or did he just finish his conversation and decide to walk up some stairs to see where they led? So now that that's done, how can I ''improve with ''my ''story? SupcommMonroee 02:14, August 31, 2011 (UTC) Yeah I do have to admit that I rushed that last part. I'll probably go back and add more detail. As for your story (I would assume Kriegsbrufte), I can't really criticize the romantic aspects of the story as I cannot write it myself. (I can still say it's very well done.) Probably the main thing you can improve is that I occasionally find myself losing track of who's saying what as there's parts where it's long blocks of dialogue. It's okay to have these, but you should include phrases such as "Tholker replied", "she exclaimed" much more often just to make it easier on the eyes and to make it more clear. Krayfish 02:35, August 31, 2011 (UTC) Yes, I meant Kriegsbrufte. I suppose I've succeeded in writing something romantic without having been in an actual relationship. Weird. I'll definately go through the chunks of writing and put in tidbits to assist in discerning who is the one talking. SupcommMonroee 02:43, August 31, 2011 (UTC) As you've made for me, I've made for you: Darn, it isn't working. Regardless, excellent work, both of you. If Panthean doesn't respond to my rp, I'm labeling him inactive. We'll have to take things into our own hands. Itell you this, though: I ''will have a romance story for Etah. THE VOICES DEMAND IT! I mean... I... um... really, really want a romance storyline for Etah. We'll see. --Nra 'Vadumee 11:25, August 31, 2011 (UTC) Why do you really really want a romance story for Etah? I unless Ahrganot gets one, I see no reason why you have ''to (then again, 5,000 years of asbtinance must build up a lot of tension, if you know what I mean.) SupcommMonroee 20:25, August 31, 2011 (UTC) EVERYONE JOIN THE CHAT ROOM I DIDN'T ENABLE IT FOR NOTHING. SupcommMonroee 20:28, August 31, 2011 (UTC) Hey, Nra, what time zone do you live in? Also, is anyone feeling like using the chat room thing any time soon? SupcommMonroee 21:44, September 2, 2011 (UTC) I live in US Eastern Time. And while I'm posting, I might as well announce it: I'm making a story. TO POST TO THE WIKI. IT'S BLOODY MADNESS! --Nra 'Vadumee 23:16, September 3, 2011 (UTC) Oh cool! Looking forward to it!Krayfish 00:03, September 4, 2011 (UTC) Cool. What's it about? Is it a crossover update? SupcommMonroee 01:41, September 4, 2011 (UTC) No... I'm thinking someone else should post. Nothing serious, just something like Eteno/Dhragolon response to discovering that a Karnasaur fleet has gone missing on the frontier. Remember, this project is Classified SCL0-Above Top Secret. One could count the number of people who know about Project: Aperture (who weren't actively working on it) on one hand. The Eteno and Dhragolon haven't a clue as to what's going on yet. I am suffering ''that ''badly from writer's block here. It's like God looked at me and said, ''"No, you will not respond to this. You will be incapable of making a decent post. But you can still make good stories. Just not for this." As for the story, it will either be an origin or a romance for Etah, probably an origin, though. If you've followed my new page on him, you'll know a few things about Etah's early life. But what exactly happened on that frontline world? What did he do pre-Galactic War? What was it like for him to undergo the brutal ELICAN Program? All will be revealed. 11/15/11. Crap, wrong trailer... --Nra 'Vadumee 18:13, September 4, 2011 (UTC) So if you are not going to go, will it be Supcomm I guess?Krayfish 20:34, September 4, 2011 (UTC) I won't let you down! SupcommMonroee 20:49, September 4, 2011 (UTC) Why Nra, I had no idea you would be getting SW:ToR SupcommMonroee 23:16, September 4, 2011 (UTC) Actually, I was referencing Assassin's Creed: Revelations. That is the scale of how many games are coming November. --Nra 'Vadumee 01:38, September 5, 2011 (UTC) Battlefield 3 is also comng out about then, I think. Daaaaaaamn. Finished Well, Twin of Loneliness is now complete.Krayfish 22:01, September 4, 2011 (UTC) (In Darth Vader voice) NOOOOOOOOOO! This was a very ''good story. It's a bit funny to see how Ahrganot was Yallvus' buttmonkey for a while, and now he is a deadly badass. Too bad this has to end. Please make a sequel? SupcommMonroee 23:16, September 4, 2011 (UTC) Thanks! I have to think of a plot first. It will probably be set close before he joins GSSOC and at the end, he will meet Tholker and Etah for the first time.Krayfish 00:02, September 5, 2011 (UTC) Yay! SupcommMonroee 00:08, September 5, 2011 (UTC) Wait... how does Ahrganot know his brother betrayed him if he doesn't know Wezga's family name? Also, does the DFM posess a nuclear weapons stockpile? SupcommMonroee 04:43, September 9, 2011 (UTC) Falan told Ahrganot outright that Wezga is his brother and Wezga himself confirmed it. As for nuclear weapons, they are not really too big on them. They know about it, but they've never really used it for warfare.Krayfish 04:45, September 9, 2011 (UTC) "And, this boy named Wezga tried to kill me! I didn't get his family name, but I became unconsious before I saw Eiketsu pass." SupcommMonroee 22:12, September 9, 2011 (UTC) Well, they are biological brothers, not really under the same nuclear family, but I think I'll just change the story a bit to make it more clear.Krayfish 22:20, September 9, 2011 (UTC) Sequel Plans I've been thining about a plot for a sequel. I originally was thinking that it would just continue up to the point where Ahrganot joins GSSOC, but nothing of great significance occurs during that time. Then, I found that Operation:Money Cushion should be a major plot point. The encounter of Umbra Castra will be probably the most life-changing encounters Ahrganot will ever have and perhaps the other characters. This is due to Umbra's insults and his ability to exploit someone's inner emotions. Example: Umbra tells Ahrganot that he was never meant to exist and that he is a reject from society; Umbra tells Tholker that he is useless without cybernetics; Umbra tells Etah that the only real way to enjoy immortality is to have the powers that Umbra has but Etah doesn't; (not sure if Pyro will be around as Panthean is probably inactive.) Wezga could even team up with Tholker's clone as well as Renr resulting in an epic clash of evil twins. The final encounter with Infra will probably come after almost every climactic thing on the wiki is resolved - the Renr storyline, Attack of Asylum, War of the Aperture etc. It will probably be its own story. So, Operation: Money Cushion was going to be the indirect sequel to Twin of Loneliness. What do you guys think?Krayfish 15:02, September 10, 2011 (UTC) Again, I have failed to notice a post. This is a very good idea, and I don't mean it like I do when I use it as a canned response for when I have no idea what is going on *cough*Titans*cough*. Ahrganot's development as a character really intrigues me, for some reason. He just seems to be a sort of "quiet child" stereotype, and still be unique. This'll also be the first time a Dhragolon and Eteno character haven't quickly become war pals. Finally, such a stark difference in ideology may become a factor in Dhragolon/Eteno relations. A final, epic battle with Tholker's copy, Wezga, and Renr (maybe even Infra!) is a concept too awesome for human consumption (however, it is perfectly safe for goats, Estonian naval personnel, monkies, and Chinese waterfowl). Note: If Tholker and Ahrganot ever quarrel, expect the Eteno to call him grandpappy, or something similar. SupcommMonroee 05:23, September 14, 2011 (UTC) I hope this turns out well. :) 20:43, September 14, 2011 (UTC) I assume this is Kray, since the IP is at the University of Virginia. I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU USE A SMILEY SupcommMonroee 21:40, September 14, 2011 (UTC) Yes, I forgot to login. I rarely use smilies, but when I use them they are genuine.Krayfish 00:30, September 15, 2011 (UTC) I Have no Idea ...why, but I just thought of two things: 1. At the end of the story, when Skizgo has his revelation about the future, I imagined what his friend would say afterwards (of course, in a silly English accent). "Eh, wonderful, Ahrganot! Oh Grandmaster Zerif, I believe the new boy has gotten into your ''weed." "Oh yes, the weed?" "Yes sir, the weed." I'm not makin' fun of it, I'm really not. If it seems like it though, go ahead and make a great, big stab at something I wrote. Only disproportionate retribution will redeem me, or something like that. 2. What if we had a fan fic wiki version of Hetalia? Characters: Eyt (EIT) - Paranoid, gun-loving, power-thirsty midget. Drools over the Delson Empire. Would've tried to conquer Daf during their brief war had he been tall enough to punch his face. (A bit of America/Russia/Germany) *Aph (Aphbrec) - Enthusiastic helper of Eyt. (Baltic States if they weren't living in complete fear of Russia) Daf (DFM) - Religious, honourable knight. Does whatever he thinks is right and abides by his religion's commandments. (A tad British/Austria) Kam (KMF, because Kamf would sound evil. You know what I mean.) - Astoundingly intelligent/powerful loner who has no idea how to make friends. (Very much Germany) Ghad (GHD) - Cautious new guy, very careful around Eyt and Kam. Nobody wants to pick a fight with Ghad. (Switzerland. Just, Switzerland) Demp (Delson Empire) - Happy, go-lucky new guy. Made a bit uneasy by Eyt's hyper-expansionist policies and lust for Delson territory. (Sealand, Italy without the cowardice, Switzerland without the paranoid loner) In fact, we could even do a test run of the concept to see if it would be fun to do during lulls in activity! EDIT: Oh my god, Uszaroth is a Minecraft griefer too! (I also love what you're doing with him) SupcommMonroee 04:48, October 5, 2011 (UTC) I actually laughed out loud at #1. That was pretty clever and funny. As for the Hetalia thing, I never thought about it that way, but yeah, it would make a good spin-off series. Wonder what you have in mind for the first part of it. And yes, I'm actually basing Uszaroth's philosophies on griefing, so you could safely assume that Minecraft griefers would make perfect Uszarothians.Krayfish 05:02, October 5, 2011 (UTC)